I blame the Morris Men. But then I always do. Others think that giving the job of lighting bonfires to a well known pyromaniac was never going to end well. Read more
Bale conditions lead to conditional bail on Isle of Oxney
It’s that time of year you see, harvest safely gathered in. Well, I say safely. Not on the Isle of Oxney … Read more
Tsunami of crime floods the Isle of Oxney
It all began with a major theft. One that would kick-start an unprecedented crime wave across the Isle of Oxney and trigger an emergency meeting. Yes, someone stole a padlock. Read more
House Signs of Coronavirus on Isle of Oxney
Out of interest, what are we calling the pandemic today? Wuhan Flu? The Chinese Virus? Or just Covid-19, in line with the UK government’s promise to China that we wouldn’t be nasty to them and call a spade an infected bat. Or maybe they didn’t promise at all, they just don’t want China to be mentioned in case some numpties somewhere, fresh from burning down the supposedly virus-transmitting 5G masts, turn their attention to Stoke-on-Trent and attack the Wedgwood factory. Read more
Massacre on Isle of Oxney
Limbs ripped from their owners. Beheadings carried out on a monumental scale. Abandoned carcasses strewn over fields. The early signs of life ruthlessly cut down. Yes, it’s hedge cutting time on the Isle of Oxney. Read more